Why I started yoga
It really started as an on and off, very scattered practice. I would go to a class, it would be okay, then I wouldn't go for a few months or even another year.
I wasn’t really that into it.
It was after dropping out of college that I needed to find an outlet for my anxiety and depression. I needed to find something that could make me feel alive again. I decided to go back to yoga, and it was the best decision I ever made. This time was different than before; I found a space that just made me feel lighter, people that supported me, and a practice that would guide me through the stresses of life. I began going to classes more regularly, exploring different styles of yoga, and trying all the teachers classes, and challenging myself to be dedicated to this practice.
I got hooked. I found something that not only became a healthy form of exercise, but it gave me tools to use, a community to love, and a space to constantly challenge myself, learn, and grow. Less than a year into this journey, I decided to sign up for teacher training. I really had no plans to become a teacher at first; my reason for signing up was to deepen my personal practice more.
I wanted yoga to become my “thing” because I knew how much it helped me. They say yoga helps you connect mind, body, and spirit, which I used to think was a bunch of bologna to be honest. Now I get it.
It took time and patience and lots of practice, but I get it. I'm able to lay out my mat anywhere, anytime and just escape. I can breathe, I can move, and I can let go when I’m on my yoga mat. When I'm practicing, I'm lighter and feel more free. Yoga helps me improve my flexibility, strength, confidence, knowledge, and ability to trust myself.
Yoga is also hard work. Yoga makes you dig deep, but then helps you blossom.
I have hard days still. I’m human. I have feelings and I get stuck in my head and I spiral and I become a mess. I also now decide to own that. Own it. Own the messy, the loud, the wild, the crazy, the different. Own it because it’s the only thing you have to live with because it is YOU. OWN YOU.
I have days that I have a hard time doing this; I get sucked into the negativity, the shaming, the harassment, the bullying, the mental spiral, and the stress and worry. I find myself fully aware of the fact that I’m losing control, but can’t seem to find the end of the rope to pull myself back in.
Am I drowning? Am I sinking into a darkness? It feels like it sometimes.
“Yoga saved my life. Yoga picked me up and pulled me out of the darkness I was trapped in”
Then I have days that I feel fresh, new, saved, and free; days that I easily find the light first thing in the morning, even if it’s a cloudy day. Days where I dance and sing and bask in the warmth of my own happiness.
Yoga saved my life. Yoga picked me up and pulled me out of the darkness I was trapped in. I am able to stay grounded and remember who I am when I’m practicing more regularly. I mean practicing all of it too, not just the yoga classes; but practicing the mindfulness, the stillness, the quiet, the release, the meditation, and the history and meaning of yoga as well.
Learn. Absorb. Digest. Ask. Question. Share.
Yoga can be so much more than just the asanas, the only way to find out is to start somewhere. So, where do you want to start?
