Change is inevitable. Change is constant. Change is Growth!

When change happens, a shift happens. Sometimes life throws so much change your way, you have to lean into that shift the same way you lean into your car’s seat when taking a turn just a little too fast. And if you do take a turn a little too fast, you have to lean into it uncomfortably, unknowingly of what’s to happen next. That is where the growth happens.

When we push past that discomfort and keep going anyways…

Despite the lack of control, despite the fear, despite the guilt, the anger, the frustration, despite anything that’s happened before, if you push past the lack of comfortability and sit in the vulnerability, you find that growth. You’re able to realize how this change that uprooted you, shifted things, and maybe created chaos, has actually brought a blessing in disguise.

That’s what happened to me.

After a year of turbulence that felt like it’d never end, more abrupt and uncontrollable change has forced me to shift things. Maybe the change forces you to shift, but then you CHOOSE how to shift. You understand what you want and really need to feel fulfilled, and you make a change that is yours, your choice, your decision, your control, your change.

It’s my turn. I embrace this change.

Let’s start from the beginning. I’ve had a year of so many changes and shifts I truly had no control over, and my life looks very different now than I pictured it would.

To go to the beginning of this year of massive shifts, takes us back to October 2021. I was dating Travis and living with him, and I found out I was pregnant. A month or so later, we found out I lost the baby (more on my pregnancy loss in previous blog posts).

After an extremely difficult few months navigating pregnancy loss, our relationship started to really fail. We weren’t a good match anymore and we both weren’t happy. We ended our relationship, and I moved out. I was living temporarily at family friend’s house and couch surfing a bit until I figured out what I should do.

I wasn’t making much money and I was afraid I couldn’t afford a place on my own. But I made it work. I found a place. It was the cutest little house in Eastport and I just loved it. I loved the natural light, the gardens, and the location was awesome.

I started navigating this new life. I was dating and figuring out who I was and what I liked. I was working a new nanny job and yoga was picking back up. I felt like things were looking up for once.

Then I started experiencing some health issues that seemed to be unexplainable. After months of testing (bloodwork, stool samples, ultrasounds, and GI specialists) everything continued to show up as if I was perfectly normal and healthy. That wasn’t right.

From the beginning I had this gut instinct that it was environmental. I didn’t want to admit that it was my super cute new home that was in fact making me sick. I was frustrated.

Amidst these health issues, I found love.

I found an amazing guy who loves me unconditionally and effortlessly. I found someone who is my rock, who keeps me grounded and who constantly supports me and lifts me up. He’s extremely smart, kind, caring, and passionate. He makes me laugh and we truly treat life like an adventure together. It has been just that. We started dating at a time where so much of my life was uprooted and I was (and still am) healing. We’ve dealt with death and loss which I think allowed us to connect in a unique way, bringing us closer together. We’ve handled struggles with work and navigated some major life changes together.

While I was healing, the unexpected was about to happen

Amidst all these health issues, I not only found love and companionship with my new partner, but I also dealt with shifts in my career. The yoga studio I grew to know as my yoga home was struggling. We found out the owner was retiring, and the studio would be closing, leaving us teachers without a space to teach.

A group of 8 of us teachers stuck together and went out on the hunt for a new space. After some searching, we found ourselves somewhere new, hopeful and excited to have our students follow us to this new yoga home.

More change. Possibly more answers.

While figuring out what was going to be happening with my yoga career, my new guy and I went away to Shenandoah for a much-needed getaway weekend. I noticed I was feeling miraculously better at the end of our weekend. We both couldn’t help but think it was because I wasn’t in my environment at home, so I stayed with Sam for an entire week after our trip to test it out.

I felt better. I was now convinced that my belief was proven true. I went through the tedious and annoying process of begging to get out of my lease early to avoid my health from becoming worse.

This meant more changes, but hopefully more answers too. To my surprise, my landlord agreed and let me out of my lease early. So, I’m moving this month (September) and I’m taking a break from teaching weekly group classes. A break I really need to give myself space to heal and find growth through all these changes.

I am healing.

After much excitement for our new yoga space, we found ourselves staring change in the face again. Not all things work out the way we plan, and this new yoga space was proof of that. We had some unforeseen issues pop-up that lead the team of us 8 teachers to be on the hunt once again for a new yoga home.

I need a break.

When I stopped to think about it, I realized just how much I’ve endured over the past year. I realized even more how much I deserve and need a break. In just one year, I’ve been through pregnancy, miscarriage, break-up, couch surfing, moving (twice), job changes, and the other random little stressors we deal with. I’ve had enough. I really need a break. So I’m taking one. I am resting, recharging, and relaxing. I’ll be back soon, don’t worry.